Relationship Renewal & Restoration!
Why Bother Trying to Keep A Relationship Going After You've Broken Up?
Well, have a look at this and see what you think. It sets out a perfect case for attempting to go on with a a relationship in which you've invested lots of time and effort. From http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200903/youre-driving-me-crazy
You're Driving Me Crazy!
Little irritants become big issues—and what to do about them. By Jay Dixit.
Without doubt, there are big problems that afflict relationships; infidelity, abuse, and addiction are not perishing from the earth. A highly sexualized society delivers an alluring drumbeat of distractions. But it may be the petty problems that subvert love most surreptitiously. The dirty socks on the floor. The way our partner chews so loudly. Like the relentless drip of a leaky faucet, they erode the goodwill that underlies all relationships. Before you know it, you feel unloved, unheard, and underappreciated, if not criticized and controlled. Intimacy becomes a pale memory.
Yet irritations are inevitable in relationships. It's just not possible to find another human being whose every quirk, habit, and preference aligns perfectly with yours. The fundamental challenge in a relationship, contends New York psychiatrist John Jacobs, is "figuring out how to negotiate and live with your partner's irritants in a way that doesn't alienate them and keeps the two of you connected." When marriages don't work, he adds, often the partners are fighting not over big issues but over petty differences in style.
And here's some more interesting scientific stuff about how you might see the investment of time you have made in your relationships.
Based on interdependence theory, social psychologist Caryl Rusbult developed a system for understanding commitment under the moniker of the investment model. The investment model suggests that commitment is a function of satisfaction with the relationship, the perceived quality of alternatives, and the perceived investments one has made in the relationship (Rusbult, 1980,1983). This model has generated a great deal of research, to the point that meta-analyses now support the model’s utility.
Across numerous studies and even different relationship types, these three elements are associated with commitment (Le & Agnew, 2003). Following this model, one study examined how different kinds of investments were associated with relationship termination (Goodfriend & Agnew, 2008).
This study made distinctions between tangible (e.g., joint bank account) and intangible (e.g., self-disclosures) investments as well as planned and past investments. They found that measuring these investments separately was more useful in explaining variability in relationship outcomes than was a global measure of investments.
Stanley and Markman (1992) also presented a framework for understanding commitment that drew upon these various conceptual schemes and they validated assessment tools for different aspects of commitment.
Consistent with the interdependence model that emphasized attraction and barrier forces (Levinger, 1965), Stanley and Markman suggested that two meta-constructs, dedication and constraint, are most important to understanding commitment. This basic emphasis has the utilitarian value of focusing on forces based on the “want to” versus the “have to” of commitment dynamics (also see Stanley, Rhoades, & Whitton, in press).
Here's what power of soul said:
It doesn’t matter if you’re married, dating or just starting out a relationship. It can be tough. It can be difficult to navigate these crazy waters. And more importantly than anything else, when a relationship breaks up your whole life will end up in turmoil for a while.
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What Can You Expect from Text Your Ex Back?
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